cheat
by hatsumiyo momichi
Summary: Tavros and Gamzee meet again after 10 years of not hearing about eachother. Old wounds and unsaid things get in the way and cloud their thoughts to tangle their lives together again with no return. In Gamzee s PoV. This is Gamtav.


You got down from the bus wanting to puke. You had always gotten sick on moving vehicles way too easily. You took a big breath as you saw the bus drive away slowly, inhaling some of the burned fuel and the cold afternoon air. You looked around before beginning your careless walk, noticing the bus had dropped you off by your old high school. You smiled faintly, the inevitable memories flooding in. You expected that would happen.

You began your slow walk down the block, waiting patiently for the unrecognizable scenery to show itself in your memories. You know you´ve been here before. Hell, you lived here for years. Your name is Gamzee Makara and you have finally come back home.

You will always remember the day you had to leave from the suburbs to seek an apartment in the city. Always remember all the shit and people you left behind out of the blue. It was like ripping your entire life out of that peaceful place to force it to function in that chaotic city.

Your smile faded from your face. You took out the wrinkled slip of paper from your pocket and read the address once again. You looked up to see the numbers on the houses and calculated you were close to the place you were looking for. You were planning on renting one of the houses in this place, even if the reason wasn´t all that clear to you yet. You had nothing left here. All the friends you used to have must have moved away. And if they didn't they wouldn´t recognize you anyways.

You saved the slip in your pants, repeating the house number in your mind, trying to remember if the lady had said there was going to be people there today or you were going to be on your own, trying to remember if the lady had said if there was a key somewhere saved for you because you suddenly remembered you didn´t have any keys. Oh well. It wouldn´t be the first time you break into a house.

You saw a silhouette in the distance coming the opposite way down your same street, and you lowered your eyes again in thought distractedly for a few seconds. The afternoon was chilly. You lifted your eyes again, crunching your eyebrows as the person came closer, noticing it was a male, noticing he had a familiar way of walking, noticing that from your distance his face looked really familiar. You tried to remember. Do you know this person? And the guy lifted his eyes up to meet yours casually. He walked past you and you stopped on your tracks, turning around as fast as you could, your jaw wanting to hang open but still not sure if it should. The dude seemed to notice your eyes were trailing after him and he turned around as well, frowning at you. He frowned even deeper before slowly pulling the corners of his plump lips up in a shy smile.

-Gamzee?- He asked with a low voice that took you by surprise. You let out a loud laugh before walking forward to offer a hug with your arms open.

-Motherfucker, look at you!- You laughed annoyingly loud and hugged the built up man in front of you, feeling him hesitate greatly before returning your friendly hug shyly. –Tavros, brother, I almost didn´t recognize you!- You laughed again, feeling your own words hurt a little. You were afraid that one day you would see him and wouldn´t know it was him. Last time you saw him he was a virgin 16 year old and your best friend. You always thought about him, wondering how he was doing, but you never did expect to get a chance to see him again. You thought it was a miracle you got to see him on your first trip to your old neighborhood.

-You still look the same.- He chuckled along, rubbing your back before loosening the hug to give you the message that you should let go of him. You did so, and took the chance to look at him in the face. He had definitely stopped being a little kid ages ago. He was a grown man, his face looking sharp as the stub on his chin, his skin looking tanner and without the old bright youth it used to have, but his eyes were the eternal innocent and shy brown jewels they always were.

-Do I now, motherfucker?- He smiled amused and nodded, looking closely at you as well.

–Got skinnier.- He did observe as he scanned your body with his eyes mysteriously. You blushed a little as you felt his eyes all over your body, but you remembered always having that reaction. You both looked at each other in silence for a while, uncomfortably.

-uh… Are you… You wanna grab a bite or some shit, maybe a coffee or somethin´ to catch up?- you asked him almost with pleading eyes, because, fuck, you wanted to ask him so many questions and tell him so many things and you were sure that if you let him go now none of that would happen. He seemed to think it through for a minute before making a decision, starting to walk the way you came from.

-Yeah, of course! There´s a café right around the corner, uh, there´s a lot of little shops too. All that stuff is new.- He started talking and you followed behind. He was smiling at you and it was like time hadn´t gone by at all. As if you never lost track of him.

You got inside the warm and relaxing place and found a small table near the back of the shop, and you both sat down to order a coffee right away. There didn´t seem to be many people inside and you assumed it was both because it was a week day and because it was barely 3 PM. You both ordered coffees. Tavros looked at you from across the small table quietly, and chuckled to himself.

-What?- you chuckled a bit embarrassed.

-Nothing… It´s just that… This is really weird, last time I saw you was in, what, high school? And you just disappeared. And now I see you 10 years later and… I don't know. What the hell happened to you?- He stopped talking as the waitress came by with both coffees. You thought you read in his eyes that he had been worried when he heard you weren´t coming back in 10th grade. All of that being buried in the past now, though. He didn´t speak anymore.

-It all went down too fast.- You concluded almost apologetically. You really didn´t want to remember all of that now, when you are barely recovering from those old wounds. You didn´t think you could explain that to him in just a couple of sentences either.

-Just one day you stopped coming.- He responded, taking a sip from his coffee. You nodded silently. You didn´t want to be the center of attention in this case.

-You know… I was… sick.- You muttered, pursing your lips. He looked at you for a second as if he didn´t understand, and suddenly his eyes brightened up. He remembered what you meant.

-The schizo…-

-Yeah.- You cut him off quickly. He nodded silently, settling and uncomfortable atmosphere. You weren´t going to tell him that was only part of the problem. Time to change the sore subject. –But, whatever man, tell me about you!- You laughed it off as unimportant, wanting to know what had been of your best friend. What had been of your first crush. You were hoping he took the hint that you should only mention that delicate topic on the next coffee date, if there was one.

-Uh… well…- He stopped talking suddenly and searched for his phone as it vibrated, giving you an apologetic smile that you shrugged away. He turned the phone off and put it back in his pocket. You stared at him, shinning a coquettish smile.

-Your girlfriend?- You teased him, expecting him to say no.

-My wife.- He corrected, taking a small and awkward silence before continuing as you were left speechless. He looked at you for a couple of seconds before going further. –This is my kid.- He showed you his wallet where a neat, small picture of his pretty daughter showed itself. You took it from his hands. The small kid was in the arms of what you assumed was his pretty wife.

-You… married Jade?- You chuckled in disbelief, and he nodded proudly.

-Yeah. Married my high school sweetheart. Cheesy, isn´t it?- He laughed at himself, running his hands through his hair. You smiled a bit off. He noticed. -Uh, we started dating in senior year.- He explained. You smiled and nodded, crunching your eyebrows together slightly. You looked at the kid again. She had her daddy´s eyes.

You didn't know what the hell you were expecting, but you sure as hell didn´t expect him to have a family of his own. His life having been already made. You being completely left out as the stranger. You were kinda hoping he would be single. Fuck that. You were hoping he would want to start dating you again after all those years. What were you even thinking? It seems so stupid and unrealistic now. Now it seemed possible to you that the reason you wanted to come here so badly was only to find him again. You felt so dumb.

-You still were my, uh, first kiss though.- He kept on talking distractedly, watching you from the corners of his eyes as he finished his coffee. You lifted your eyes to meet his, wondering if your face was that readable. You smiled hugely instead to distract him.

-Yeah, I remember that.- You said casually, blushing slightly. –But it´s great you got your own kid, man, and your own love. It´s cool. I wish I were that lucky.- You tried your best to sound cheery, deciding to stop thinking about it. It wasn´t a big deal anyways.

-You don't have a girlfriend? Boyfriend?- He asked interested.

-No.- you shook your head. He lifted his right hand towards you over the table, and stroked the back of your own hand slowly with his fingertips, traveling through your pale skin softly until he reached your own long and skinny fingers, to then take his wallet away from you in one quick movement. You breathed out taken by surprise, blushing red at the flirty contact.

-That´s odd. You´re still attractive, and, uh, look a lot younger than me. You sure you´re even trying?- He mocked you, blushing noticeably as well. You kicked him under the table playfully, giggling like a kid.

-It ain´t as easy as you make it seem, brother.- He saved his wallet and you saw him take a peek at the wall clock. Wait. Did he just call you attractive?

You sat up a little, instinctively making sure you kept that appearance for him. You placed your chin over your palm and your elbow on the table, looking directly at him. He glanced back at you and caught you looking, and let a slow smile spread on his face as he leaned closer over the table.

-So, where have you lived all these years?- He asked.

-In the city. My momma has always lived there, in a small apartment near the Woodbrack mall.- You were pretty sure he´d been there. He nodded. –It´s pretty chill.- He chuckled, placing both of his forearms over the table and adjusting his legs. Tavros´ face looked so cute when he smiled. It always did. Or at least you remembered so. You almost jumped in your seat when you felt his leg brush against yours accidentally, and then you felt your face heat up as you noticed he kept it there and rubbed against you for a second before pulling back as if that hadn´t been his intention. You licked your lips because they felt dry all of the sudden. You looked up into his eyes and his gaze was steadily over your face. –What´s your girl´s name?- You blurted out a little too loud, feeling nervous.

He looked away for a second and rubbed his chin. "He is married", you said to yourself. You weren´t sure of what was going on with the uneasy tension between you, but something told you to remember he was married.

-Her name´s Madeline.- He answered sweetly. –Momma´s little girl.- You smiled, trying to imagine Jade taking care of a small kid of her own.

You both chatted for about an hour more, talking about the future, talking about present plans, and talking about the past. You both had a good laugh when you remembered the most you ever did was kissing and touching each other over the clothes. He had said you both had been too naïve. That you two should have spent more time together, and should have done more things. You had laughed at "things". He smiled and shook his head.

He told you how he had missed you and had forgotten how great it was talking to you, just being himself. You swore you saw ancient sadness shine through his eyes momentarily, thinking about how he missed you when you were right there, in front of him, feeling his fingertips brush your hand again but this time without the excuse of a wallet to take from you. You lifted your fingers into his touch and caressed back softly. He ended up just holding your hand sweetly, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. You had ran out of things to say and were staring at his hand holding yours, his engagement ring shinning under the electric lights and daylight form the windows. You felt jealous.

He pulled his hand away and motioned to the waitress, and she came by to give you the bill as soon as she saw him, and you thought that had been the shortest coffee date of your life. He paid and put the tip on the table, clearing his throat as he did so. You were gonna open your mouth to ask where he had to go so that you could walk him there at least, but he spoke before that.

-Do you wanna go somewhere else?- He asked you, and after some thought you decided it was a good idea, even if the café seemed the best place to chat. You nodded silently, smiling at him, and he smiled subtly to you. He walked in front of you and you followed close, not looking at where you were going after you left the shop and the cold hit your face again. You were going to take your phone out to call the lady and ask her if you could go a little later. But you arrived at your new spot too soon.

It was a motel.

You gave him a surprised look that he ignored, and you realized he thought you were thinking the same thing he was thinking. You crunched your eyebrows tightly.

He was married. You forced your right foot to move in front of your left one once he kept on walking.

You followed him inside the old place cautiously, making sure no one was looking, and he asked for a room.

He had a child at his home with his wife. A small little girl that probably had 5 years old at the most. Madeline was her name, you remembered.

You followed him to the poorly lit room that stank of sex even after it was cleansed. You were egocentric. You decided you didn´t care less that he had a wife and a daughter and a life you could ruin with just enough skin and jealousy.

He closed the door after himself, and you immediately took a step closer to hold his face in your hands and bring those lips to your face that you had tasted once and never were able to forget. You pressed your mouth against his, feeling the relief of the long, silent wait, feeling the goose bumps it gave you, feeling the heat creeping on you immediately. You had been waiting for this for years masochistically. And he surrounded your waist with his big arms in way that kept you close to his wide warm chest and made you feel butterflies.

He had been the first boy you had fallen for, your best friend of the time. You loved him, and the day you confessed to him you both had your first kiss. He had become your sweet heart, he had become your world, and it didn´t matter that you were losing your head to those fucking voices you heard and monsters that stalked you, because he was the only thing that was keeping you sane, the only one that ever understood you or at least tried to, and that had cursed you. That had cursed you to never stop thinking of him, even if you tried to tell yourself it had been part of a past and wasn´t relevant anymore.

He had you stripped in the blink of an eye and made you lay on the dirty and overly-used bed sweetly, getting between your bare legs to press both lips tightly against each other as he got rid of his clothes. First his shirt, then his pants, and lastly, the thin boxers. There were small bags of lube on the night table next to the bed and he ripped one open to slick his dick and penetrate you as soon as he could. You stared at him attentively as you rested on your back and had your legs open for him, watching him stroke himself with the slick stuff, watching him as he put his fingers to your ass and tried to spread you a little. You moaned as soon as you felt his wet and cold fingers get inside of you, and you knew that got him turned on for sure and there was no going back.

Soon he was fucking you hard against the mattress, digging himself deep inside of you with each powerful thrust, one pale leg over each of his tan shoulders and your knees almost touching your chest. He was breathing so loudly next to you ear, moaning and saying your name as he tangled your thick hair with his greedy fingers, biting your chin, your shoulders, your collarbone, your nipples, the legs next to his face, and rolling his tongue on every inch of skin he had in his range. Your eyes were dripping tears and your throat was ripping cries of pleasure that you didn´t try to hide, feeling the friction inside of you burn like heaven. It felt so good. You still loved him so much. And he came inside you after endless minutes of pounding you hard and kissing every inch of your body he could get to as if he wanted to mark you forever with his dark lips. You dug your nails on his sweaty back as you arched your back and splattered your own abdomen in the most glorious orgasm you even had.

He fell exhausted by you side, panting madly, covering his eyes with his palm to block out the light as he cooled down.

-Fuck…- You heard him breathe out in a powerful sigh. –That was amazing.- And he uncovered his eyes to look at you and see if you agreed with a huge, satisfied grin. You stared at him for a second before rolling over your stomach to pass an arm over his chest and meet his lips tenderly again. He tasted just how you remembered him tasting from years ago, but a bit stronger. His stubby chin making your own itch.

-Motherfucking miracles, babe.- You smiled between quick kisses. You laid your head over his warm chest for a while, and he brought you even closer with his arms. He stroked your head sweetly and rubbed your back in thought, and you wished you knew what he was thinking. You decided to close your eyes and hear his rapid heartbeat in the deepest of concentrations, trying to ignore the little voice in your head that was beginning to mock your pain in advance. You didn´t know what it meant, and you didn´t want to know. You only wanted 5 more minutes to feel as if you both were the only ones in the world.

After a while he pushed you away softly and stood up to get dressed, scribbling something on a note pad in the bedside table. You watched him from the bed, lazily getting up from your own position. You were disappointed it ended so soon. You still felt the need to hold him close. You were about to put your pants on when he bent down to kiss your forehead softly. You peeked into his eyes and tried to read what they had to confess to you.

-Call me… If you want to hang out again.- He muttered against your forehead to then give you another soft kiss and a smile. He leaned away and opened the door, already fully dressed. –I´ll pay.- He assured, and he left right away as if he were in a hurry.

You sat there, looking after the residual image of him by the door. You had no idea what you had gotten yourself into. You wondered if he had done this before. You wondered if he does it regularly. You wondered how many people he did this with. You shook you head and decided you didn´t want to know and told yourself "I don´t care" as you felt your eyes itch with tears.

You got dressed and took the paper with his number in your hands. You folded it and kissed it before saving it in your pocket along with the paper with the directions of your possibly new house. You left soon after.


End file.
